A Plea To Those That Care...

Hello Friends, Fans and Other Strangers,

My latest work, “Peace In The Storm” is set to be released very soon. The plan is for me to make it available in digital markets at first, and then, after a bit of time, release a special edition hard copy on CD. While the music is enough for some people (thus the growing market of digital music outlets), I really don’t consider the album truly complete until a hard copy on CD Format is released. I am passionate about a CD release for two reasons. One, so I can make the album available to those fans that aren’t computer savvy, and have trouble with mp3 management, and Two, there is an artist that I am working with that is crafting artwork for it, and I feel that the great artwork she does deserves a fairer shake than just a thumbnail photograph on a website. So, that being said, we come to the reason for this note. I am an independent artist. I have no real backing, financial or otherwise to produce my work. The cost of manufacturing a disc isn’t insurmountable, but it IS more than I have in pocket. Normally, I am all too happy to give away downloads of my music, even sending it via e-mail to people that are interested. This time around, however, I am asking for your help. If you truly enjoy my music, and are excited to hear what I’ve recorded this past year, then I ask that you purchase a digital copy of it via iTunes, Amazon, or any other outlet that sells it. I’ve done the math, and I only need to sell 25 digital units (at $9.99) to manufacture the CDs. So, when “Peace In The Storm” is released digitally, please help me out and buy one. It would go a long way to convincing me that writing and recording music is what I should be doing. Meanwhile, I look forward to releasing this record, and I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

Merry Christmas, and God Bless,

Benjamin

The Best That I Can Do...

For anyone that knows me well, the one thing that I've been thinking about/talking about for this entire calender year is my new album effort. The writing of the songs and the germination of it has come within a period of 2 years, actually...nearly three.. and as I struggled in my home studio to produce something that even comes close to matching the pro quality of "Grace In Your Face" (my first album)..I kept hitting the same brick walls. I have no finance to really produce this album the way I need to. I don't have an ear that is really suitable to do it myself...Anyone that I know with the skills to slick it up is hundreds of miles away. So, after talking with some close friends about it, much prayer...and wrestling with my pride, I have come to the conclusion that this next album is going to sound like it was produced in a garage by an amateur. And for once..I'm okay with that. Preceding each mixing session, before I lay hands on my board and console..I pray that God will give forth the grace to make this project listenable... and despite the "raw" feel that is prevalent on it, I believe that he has granted me that grace. "Peace In The Storm" is my battle cry. It's me, before my God...pleading for mercy..basking in the riches of his undeserved love, and marveling at how great he really is. What I feel now, instead of all of the cringes, and shutters that have dotted my previous listenings of my amateur production values, is one of tremendous accomplishment, and gratefulness to God for his gift of not only talent for music and songwriting, but the gift of a studio to produce it, albeit crudely. So in short order, you will see the release of "Peace In The Storm", and if you choose to listen, I only ask that you do so with an understanding heart, and regardless of the production...allow these songs to draw you closer to Christ; for without him, there's no point to any of this. It's the best that I can do... and I hope you like it.

Chick Fil A, A God That Loves, and What Hate REALLY Is

Much has been made recently about the controversy surrounding Chick Fil A, and CEO Dan Cathy’s beliefs on traditional marriage. I have remained silent on this, at least outside of conversations with my wife, and a few friends; but even in those conversations my feelings were measured..tempered. The last thing I want to do is offend someone. However, at this point, when the God that I serve, the people that serve alongside me, and the faith that has brought me to the knowledge of the grace that has saved me are not only slandered, but openly mocked. I must speak out. This blog of mine has taken many forms. I have used it to rejoice, to ponder things I didn’t understand, and I have allowed frustrations to be vented. I do not wish to alienate anyone, but I am not genuine if I remain silent. First of all, I will say (and this may shock some of you) that I am actually not opposed to the government allowing same sex marriage. This liberty based government of ours has no business legislating moral issues, provided that no one is hurt by them. That being said, I am absolutely stunned that the human race as a whole can be so hateful. And no, I’m not talking about the “hate” as defined by the left. I’m talking about the genuine article. We witnessed something remarkable yesterday. One group railed against a restaurant simply because the CEO of the company expressed a spiritual viewpoint. There have been calls to run him out of business, to shame the God he serves, and even to do harm to his family. As an answer to this, former Governor Mike Huckabee asked those that support Mr. Cathy’s views to throw some business his way. The result was astounding. Lines that stretched into traffic, forcing the police to come and redirect it. What is normally a 5-10 minute wait for food turned into 2-4 hours. It was an overwhelming referendum on just how supportive we are of free speech. The detractors saw this, and immediately went nuts. There were messages on Twitter wishing death on anyone that eats there, wishing death on their familes, their children, and not surprisingly, horrible remarks, and sentiment directed at a God, by whose grace, they are able to breathe. As a result of the overwhelming response to Gov. Huckabees proposal, they have planned a rebuttal. On Friday, August 2, they are planning to go to Chik Fil A Restaurants, and in a childish act of defiance, stage a “Same Sex Kiss In”. They are not doing this to make a point, I assure you. They are doing it to openly mock God, and his followers, and to make light of our beliefs; to throw a fit like a child that has lost a game of jacks.  I ask you, who really hates here? The words “hate” and “tolerance” have been so distorted in our modern lexicon, that most have lost sight of what these words actually mean. The left claims that tolerance is indispensable. But that tolerance only applies to their political enemies. They don’t need to tolerate. So a fast food chain had a really good day. I know! Let’s say we hope all of their children die. Let’s make jokes that Jesus Christ is a homosexual. That’s quite tolerant, isn’t it? Some have said that Dan Cathy Hates homosexuals. He stated his own religious beliefs when he was asked about them. He didn’t mention any group. But he hates. Meanwhile, those that are calling for his family to die; those that are saying the most horrible things about the God we worship, not to mention wishing death on all of our families as well, that’s not hate. That’s nobility. That’s freedom of speech. See, it doesn’t work both ways with the left, and we are beginning to see that more clearly than ever. To all that are participating in this operative against Chick Fil A, the people that eat there, and the people that share Mr. Cathy’s views, I say this:

I won’t pretend to know what it’s like to be gay, to know the uphill battle that you have to climb to live your lives normally. I could quote from Deuteronomy, and say “abomination this, abomination that.” But I will not.  Because the fact is, you’re no worse than any other human walking on the Earth. We are all sinners. I stubbed my toe yesterday. I said a curse word. I shouldn’t have. I’ve said unkind things, I’ve thought impure thoughts, I’ve been selfish, irritable, unkind to my wife, indifferent to my God, and that was yesterday. I just happen to have hope. Hope in a God that loves me so fiercely, that he couldn’t stand to see me suffer under His wrath. He has every right to be angry with me. He is perfect, I am not. Enter Jesus Christ, who lived a perfect earthly life, yet was Punished for the sins of the whole world. Yours. Mine. The people that will go to Chick Fil A on Friday to incite more negativity. The people that were there yesterday, supporting the CEO.  The people that are there now. Everyone’s.  Just keep in mind, the pendulum does swing both ways .Hate doesn’t have two meanings.  Hate is what it is. I hope and pray that you come to an understanding of the truth. Not so you “turn from your evil ways” and suddenly stop being gay, but so you don’t have to live your lives with such animosity and yes, hatred in your heart. I wish you all the best. Defy a cow, go get a hamburger today. The lines won’t be very long. 

New Stuff, Old Stuff

As a worship leader of an independent baptist church, I have been on the receiving end of a fair share of criticism. Cause if there's one thing Baptists can do, it's criticize. Most of the criticism has to do with choice of material. Some of the comments are specific musically.. "This song's too fast!" or... "This song's too loud!", but the bulk of the criticism volleyed at me concerns tradition. And my irreverent attitude toward it. When my wife and I arrived at my church in 2006, we were looking for a place where we could belong, a place where we could reconnect with our Savior after a period of complacency. I was wanting to rediscover Christ, my wife was looking to find him period. Our church welcomed us with open arms, and what a welcome it was! But once the service began, I noticed something immediately. The music was archaic. Outdated, passionless, and routine. There was no emotion coming from the seats. Nothing being given to God, and apparently no comfort being taken FROM him, either. Flash forward 4 years, a time that sees me installed as the worship leader, in charge of leading the singing. I went to work immediately dismantling a broken system..restoring elements of emotion, carefully, meticulously, without making any loud noises to scare people away. But scare people away I did. One couple, when asked why they were leaving the church answered simply, "Ben Bitter." Ouch. Yet with the help of my senior pastor, we trudged on, slowly introducing new elements to the worship service. A programme of straight hymns was retooled, to include songs by Bebo Norman, and Chris Tomlin..not to mention great worship songs from Sovereign Grace Music Mionistries and Keith and Kristyn Getty. As this trend continued, a funny thing happened. People started singing. People started feeling. Moreover, people began to experience the greatness of their God through the power of song. Hymns weren't done away with entirely, mind you. They have a special place in the programme. After singing modern songs like "Jesus Messiah" or "I Will Lift My Eyes", I can break out "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" and it takes on a whole new reverence. Nowadays, there are a few that will refuse to sing. There are some that will walk out of the worship service entirely. But who are they serving? To them I say this: Ask yourself this question. Am I here (church) as a consumer? Am I here to be entertained? If you answered yes, good for you. You're honest. And you're missing the point.

"I'll give you more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what you have required"

The Jumping In and The Shrinking Back

Anyone that's ever been swimming in the summer knows this feeling. You're standing on the edge of the pool. The heat of the day is raging all around you, and you know in your logical mind that nothing would feel better than to plunge yourself into that water. Do a few flips. Backstroke around awhile. But yet you stand there, testing the water with your big toe, and feeling somewhere inside you that the last thing you want to do is jump. When I consider my life, I think that this feeling is the most prevalent. I have many opportunities to network, to put myself out there, both musically and personally... and I stand there on the edge of the pool. "Will I be rejected?" "Am I wasting this person's time?" "No one is buying the record, it must not be any good." I have been walking a fine line between wanting to jump in front of the camera, waving my arms wildly, and slinking into a cave where no one can see me. What this reveals to me, as I pray, and think on it all, is a lack of faith. And more than that. I'm judging myself much like I've judged others in the past. I'm convicted, and then it begins anew. I know a few things:

1. I am God's. He loves me fiercely and with white hot jealousy
2. I am blessed beyond measure. A beautiful wife, a son, a new house, some measure of talent and a room full of expensive musical gear
3. The sum of my works (good or bad) is a drop in the bucket against Christ's work for me on the cross.
4. Every Sunday, I get to help lead others to the endless well of God's grace, love and greatness.

I actually have considered quitting music a few times. I know that thinking like that is straight from the bowels of hell. So this entry, I suppose is a quasi-public acknowlegement of my weakness, a request for prayer, and in its own way, a praise to the God that can take all of this fear away.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.

  He will not let your foot be moved;
    he who keeps you will not slumber.
   Behold, he who keeps Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

  The Lord is your keeper;
    the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
  The sun shall not strike you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
    he will keep your life.

 The Lord will keep
    your going out and your coming in
    from this time forth and forevermore."

Psalm 121: 1-8

Thanks for reading.

Distraction and Renewal

Satan knows that I am easily distracted. He also knows that I am drawn to so many of the things in life that aren’t good for me. I used to think that it was all about balance…taking in just a sip..just a taste..and knowing that a healthy swig of God’s Word, God’s Law or God’s grace..would wash the nasty aftertaste out of my mouth. But, like a snowball rolling down a mountainside, the temptation for all things worldy grows, and grows, until God is reduced to a label I wear on my shirt. Hypocrisy reigns, and truth is lost in the shadows. The lack of updates on this blog is proof of this. Week after week, I am admonished, corrected, and taught from the very Word of God. A decadent luxury we here in America take for granted; yet as the Sunday feeling wears off, and I am confronted with temptation, often I crumble. Too many times, against the advice of many wise men of God, Charles Spurgeon namely, I get out of bed, and talk myself into a bad day, when the sun hasn’t revealed even an iota of the troubles OR triumphs contained therein. As the gloom overtook me this morning, I instinctively turned to my Bible, which is in far better condition than it should be. I thought I’d look for someone that has real troubles…someone that knows real pain…so I turned to Job. Then to Proverbs, and found again (with fresh eyes) this…

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh, and refreshment to your bones -Proverbs 3: 5-8

Why is it that the cure to our faithlessness is the one thing that we resist the most? And why do we so soon forget the “..healing to our flesh, and refreshment to our bones” that is right at our fingertips? As for me, today I am asking God to bring me a measure of Faith so sustaining, and so powerful, that these questions need not be asked, let alone answered.

Dear Father,

Let me lean on YOUR word, and let me not forget. Strengthen my resolve today, and allow me to continue to hide your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Renew my spirit, and as my eyes open in the morning, let it be of your Glory, wonder and peace that I think of. For you are the God of my everything. Giver of everything. You are sovereign. Increase my faith, and set a clear path before me to continue. This I pray in the name of your son, Jesus. Amen.